I never said it was easy. No one has claimed this.
To stare at a blank canvas. To make something out of nothing. This creating can be like teeth pulling or jumping off of a cliff with out any armor.
It is hard. Especially the beginnings. I know this place intimately and am scared shitless, often.
But I do it anyway.
I get curious with my fear. I befriend it. I break it down to small pieces. I say fuck off fear. All of this is true. I roll the fear around in my tongue. I do my dishes. Sort my laundry. Sweep. Shred old bills. I do anything to keep my hands busy instead of creating.
But then I begin. I jump off the edge, closing my eyes and holding my breath into the great abyss and welcome what comes fourth. Telling myself it won’t be perfect on the first try and likely not the 10th. It is a proactive practice of courage. Leaning in to this salty fear.
And why do we do this? Well, once you have tasted the flow and the timelessness and the pure love of creation. You know this is truth. This is why we were put here. To create. To sink deeply into the moment of where the pen meets the paper, or the paint hits the canvas, or the idea is like a spark in your brain wild and free and only for that moment. For you and you only to capture and put fourth into this beautiful world.
Love to you + courage on this road.
Mati Rose